Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
