It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
