just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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