Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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