Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize