whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
