I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she pinky promised me she was 18
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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