stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
