Yo dont text me then not text me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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