Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
