Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
