he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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