i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
