I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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