what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
