love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
