I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
