fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
