my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I got inside last night via doggy door
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
