drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
