No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My vagina is officially offended.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
