if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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