I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you didnt know i had herpes?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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