So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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