were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
