with your own penis?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
