I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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