I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
