bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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