Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
