she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
