We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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