But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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