So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He felt like a one man threesome
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
try to milk me bitch
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
