How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
