3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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