sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
