I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
