at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
