just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
