I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
