I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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