I look better un-naked...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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