i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
