Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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