Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
