but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
