Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We got so high we made milksteak
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
