he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
