You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
