Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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