Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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