he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
