I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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