There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize