Are we in a gay sports bar?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
