im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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